aside over soliloquy

Something inside me 
used to be angry; 
I gnawed off it. 
Something to listen to
on the way to everywhere - 
nod with it. 
Some pills that
spilt over my bedside
nodding off them. 
Every now and then
I don’t hate myself,
but not often. 

Flash - 
the lightning grumbles. 
Crash -
my thoughts crumble. 
Something inside me 
remembers the toast,
shit,
I'm not with it.