aside over soliloquy

Something inside me 
used to be angry; 
I gnawed off it. 
Something to listen to
on the way to everywhere - 
nod with it. 
Some pills that
spilt over my bedside
nodding off them. 
Every now and then
I don’t hate myself,
but not often. 

Flash - 
the lightning grumbles. 
Crash -
my thoughts crumble. 
Something inside me 
remembers the toast,
shit,
I'm not with it.

No Shows

Nah that’s cool,
shrugging lazily
and only half joking. 
Several seconds pass,
many long-winded
metaphors, and
eight god damn
whiskey sours later....

Like eating grapes 
off the vine. It
tastes less enjoyable, 
but overwhelmingly
natural. 
Like a coke dealer on 
a netflix binge:
three days with no sale,
in love with the 80’s,
pass the ice. 

I spent that time
listening
for someone to yell,
“Stop!”
Dispassionately poised
for an assault on
my character
to my back
and everything else 
to my face. 
Nothing happened,
but dammit beg,
for the question you
already know:
the fleeing happiness,
asking instead
for accomplishment
and society’s benefit.

h i h

Now and then?  
More like: 

all the time,

everywhere,

all at once. 

That sounds like
the most British thing 
I've heard.
The only thing, 
honest, 
and you should be
honest.
 
Tell me how to get
there
and I swear to you,
by sould,
by blood,
by iron,
we leave. 

Well, did you find
a bowl or not?
Have you lost your mind?
Your head sloshes
full of soup.
Consider that,
your eye 
half eaten by the falcon,
Horus.  
Maggots wriggling about
the lens - 
have you no shame? 
Nothing to see here,
not since I lost my eye,
after all. 

Cheap talk

What does that even mean?
You cannot have your cake
and have it eaten too. 
It takes two to tango, 
honey,
and talk is cheap. 
So, I speak by the hour,
and pass collection 
when the hook penetrates
your soft, upper palate. 

While In

Subverting patience
one expectation at a time.
I like to weaponize 
existentialism - 
it’s my kink.
I don’t even like the music,
I just know you
like me for listening. 
What a ball,
a beautiful wedding. 
So pulls the oxen 
on cart. 

Pardon me a moment
while I spiral 
out of control here.